Up until last night, I’ve had a pretty dry week. Absolutely nothing made me cry! It was almost a little weird. Everything was very nice, even though it was a little chilly and I knew, deep down, that I was but one deep, shaky breath away from hysterics.
But no dice. I came home after work one night and felt a little wiped out. Naturally, I put on my pajamas, and climbed into bed with my iPod. I thought, what’s a girl to listen to on a good day in a good week? That’s right, Elliott Smith.
For those of you sad, unenlightened people who have never heard of Elliott Smith, he is a singer/songwriter who was prominent in the late 90’s. He released melancholy albums such as Either/Or and XO, in addition to scoring the sad film Good Will Hunting. Unfortunately, he died in 2003 in Los Angeles under suspicious circumstances. His music is tragically sad, making you feel as if you are floating through a grave yard, smoking a cigarette, and disappointing your significant other at the same time. Needless to say, he is my favorite artist.
So I was listening to his heart-wrenching A Capella ballad, “I Didn’t Understand”, when I began to weep uncontrollably. My mascara ran all over my cheeks, and I slibbered all over my hands and face. At that moment, I truly felt faced by the void, and felt it begin to fill me inside, right where my heart would be (if I had one).
At that moment, I realized that I will never again experience youth for the first time. I will never hear my favorite songs for the first time again, or see my favorite movies, or meet my favorite people. Slowly, I’m accomplishing everything I am meant to in life, and one day, no one will remember me at all! I’ll barely leave any ripples in the water of life.
What an amazing cry!