This time, I’m going #nomakeup. Yep, that’s right, there’s nothing on my face in the above photo but tears. But anyway, natural beauty aside, do you know what’s been weighing on my mind? I’ll give you a hint: it has to do with my future, higher education as an elaborate ruse to plunge students into debt, and why I can’t seem to do any homework.
You guessed it. I’m crying about graduation.
Now, I know there are 133 other seniors probably feeling what I’m feeling, yet I’m the only one crying about it. Well, the reason I’ve begun weeping like a mother at a commencement speech is because of the Freshman club fair last week. I’m a peer advisor, and thus had to escort my group of freshman girls to the club fair last Thursday morning. I love being a peer advisor, it’s amazing to wake up forty-five minutes earlier than usual twice a week so I can begin feeling sadness slightly earlier than usual. And it’s amazing to watch these girls begin to adjust to high school life. We took them down to the club fair in hopes that they would take one step further down the paths to discovering their passions and impressive extracurriculars, when BAM- it hit me.
I won’t be able to join any clubs for the next semester! I’m going to graduate and never go to a lunch club at this school again. I’m going to graduate, and then eventually my influence in the school, however small, will ripple out and fade away, like a pebble sinking to the bottom of Lake Michigan.
I began to cry, but just a gentle, here-and-there kind of crying. Very subtle, so my freshman wouldn’t notice and be concerned. Then, of course, I was spotted by Erica Amabile, local trout and slut-shamer. Apparently she also shames cryers. She sidled right on up to me and said, “Hey, Siena, what’s wrong?” like the tyrant that she is. I bellowed back “Nothing and no one! No one and no where!” Which made her laugh a man-hating witch laugh. She plopped down next to me and began furiously tickling me in the bends of my elbows (which only made me cry harder), and then pointed at me as if to say ‘here she is, brand her with the scarlet letter C for Cryer!” and snapped this pic.
Honestly, not the best weep I’ve had recently. But as I always tell people:
Do as I say, not as I cry.