On Moving on From High School

Bitter sweet.
If I could only pick one word to describe what it feels like to finally graduate from high school
That’s what I’d choose
Every.
Single.
Time.

Before staying up late nights to finish writing that last minutes paper was the new normal
and before studying turned into cramming
There used to exist a limbo
There used to exist a fog, a shield of some sort
A door that we hadn’t yet known how to open yet
We were too busy with playing tag
Too busy with trying our best to color inside the lines
to care about what we looked like,
what people thought of us
and the expectations that would soon weigh like a ton of bricks on the tops of your shoulders
and now I’m here
three months left until I can no longer walk these hallways and feel like they’re mine to walk
until I can no longer laugh with my bestest of friends over the stupidest of things

Don’t get me wrong
I wanna get out of here
Take my diploma, frame it and be onto the next long and suspenseful chapter of my life
But that’s just it
That chapter of my life is behind closed doors
Locked. Airtight. Sealed shut.
This time I know it’s there
I know it exists
and I’m faced with the impossible task of finding the key to open it
amongst a million other keys

As time went on,
my sweet days became more bitter than the last
More often than not
I was able to enjoy a candy bar here and there
but I’ve been told that I have to quit
because adults aren’t supposed to eat candy
and that’s what I mean.
Bitter sweet.

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