I Love You. I Really Mean It

I know I suck, I can be mean and impulsive. I’m inconsiderate,  unthoughtful and unkind.  I’m obnoxious, and sarcastic and so much more but if I decided to list them all out here, I think we’d die before I finish. So let me start with, I am sorry. Very sincerely sorry. Publicly, sincerely sorry. I’m never really there when you need it because sometimes I’m too lazy or forgetful. I mean, sometimes I highly debate whether I should go to school or not because school sucks, but you need a hug. Basically I am selfish, greedy, and rude. But when it comes down to it, I really am here for you, whether it’s in your heart or physically next to you making sure you’re okay. On the inside and out. You have forgiven me for every stupid mistake I have made, even the ones I have made multiple times. I think I have f*cked you over more than a single person has before, and I mean ever. But look at us now. We’re still here. We’re still living and breathing. We have survived. You’re a survivor. You care about me so much, but you don’t need to worry about me because I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay as long as you are fine. I met you shortly after freshman year started because you started dating my best friend at the time… Wow. How well that worked out. *Sarcasm* Surprised? I know you’re not. But I mean, life works out in the end right? I mean that’s what I’ve been told. It takes one try to fix a mistake. And It took me a year, multiple fails and lost friendships. But we’ve been best friends since then and you are the most amazing person for forgiving me for all of this. For screwing you over and for changing so much when you have always been the same beautiful, over-estimated girl. You deserve the best and I don’t think I can give it to you, but I try. I try being me. The person you love because I love you. I know I have f*cked up, but I am here for you. I’ll be here for you today, I’ll be here for you tomorrow. Hell, I’ll be here for you when I am too old for life and probably almost maybe mostly dead. Sweetie, I love you. I love you so much more than I can put into words and maybe that’s why we work. We don’t always have to be glued together at the hip, but through every single f*cking thing we’re here for each other. So I want you to know this, I want the world to know this. When you’re sad, I am too. When you’re glad, I am happy for you. I’ll hug you when you’re down, I’ll wipe your tears when you cry. I’ll hold you hand when you’re scared. I’ll punch anyone who has hurt you. You are everything. And never put yourself lower than you are, people are assh*les, but you darling, you are not. When I say I love You. I really mean it Bunny. You are my person like Christina is to Meredith. Yes I made a Grey’s Anatomy reference, but thats how much you mean to me. You tell me that you wish I loved you as much as you do me, and  I see how you think that way because I am wired to be an abnormal person that you tolerate. So maybe you do love me more, but in my heart I could my love for you a thousand times over. Then a million to a trillion to infinity. I couldn’t love anyone as much as I love you. You really are a magnificent creature of wonder. I don’t know how you do it, but you take me breath away every time I look at you.

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