Everyday you walk through your school and a whole bunch of feelings just rise up with in you. You feel hate, happiness, anxiety, anger, hopelessness. There so many others that it just pains you to express. I certainly don’t like school, this is the first year I have ever felt like this because everyday I contemplate dropping out. Even when I’m home I say, ” Ma, I hate school. I’m f**king dropping out.” But she’s not worried because she knows I’m still going to get up and go to a school EVERYDAY!
The Hate: Some people just never stop their sh*t, a teacher will be talking and there will always be those kids that don’t care about another person’s feelings. Those kids will talk and have a full conversation while the teacher is trying to give a lesson. If you’re that uninterested and rude enough to disrespect someone. Just walk out, no one truly cares that you’re there if you’re going to do that. Same goes for when another student is talking.
The Happiness: You may one day walk into this school and see all the happy faces and smiles. Everyone is with their friends laughing and having fun, that’s the happiness. We are enjoying each others company and we actually can be interested in what we have to say to one another. We are motivated, whats even better is when we are motivated in classes that bring real enjoyment because you got to school feeling less stressed.
The Anxiety/ The Anger: The only thing that relates to this is math, well for me at least. No matter how hard I try I know I will never fully understand math. I have encountered some of the best teachers and they all taught well. I just can’t grasp the idea of math. That’s that story. I’m sure there are other things you can relate to.
The Hopelessness: Now looking back on this you see it’s never going to change. You might see a positive perspective but it’s only your imagination creating something you wish would happen. Not everyone will give a genuine smile, not even you. You might try but you know it’s not genuine…That test, yeah it was hard right? You probably failed it. It’s okay though because you failed all the others, what’s new? Don’t worry though, that feeling doesn’t last forever and sometimes that’s just a weak point but things will EVENTUALLY become better.
That’s the feeling of hopelessness, giving up. That’s the hate, anger, anxiety, and happiness. That’s the cycle of emotions that rise within every time we walk through those blue metal doors. But that’s fine, we have about a year left anyways so it will be over soon. But for now just chill.